dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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