last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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