I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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