It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
