Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
