belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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