Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize