High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
