C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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