His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
