your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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