How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize