Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
