Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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