how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Panties = found
Randomize
