I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
