K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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