Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
