my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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