Buhtt sex?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
