Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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