Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
