I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
