everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
