First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So vagazzling was a success
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