I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your penis caused this!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
