I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
