She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sorry about my life...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
