And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize