I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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