You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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