My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he shaved USA in his pubs
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize