Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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