I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
