I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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