Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
