just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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