I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
