he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
