So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
