I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
