SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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