Me. At least after what I've been through.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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