just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
