I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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