i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
