True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
