i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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