I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
