you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
