someone owes me an orgasm
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
