i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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