And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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