How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
