Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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