so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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