whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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