I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
