I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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