I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
