im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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