My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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