I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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