Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
